Hello?...

I hear it is time.

My heart cannot hold back.
I halt in a sudden, breathless stop
at the soft song
only my heart can hear.

An ache forgotten.

No more...

It is here?

Searching from the inside out,
every sense reaching—

knowing,
hoping
it is not her,
and hoping it is her
all at once.

Wondering:

Why can I not control this?

What reaches out from within me—
something that somehow
knows me better
than I know myself?

I freeze.

Every yearning becomes still,
suspended beyond time.

Everything you want
and everything you fear,
gathered in one place.

Now...

You must choose.

Choose what?

How can you ask me to choose?
Where was my choice
when I did not know?

...That does not matter.

Her voice is soft.
Her demeanor relaxed.

The other voice on the phone
is a welcome one.

Though I
am not.

What once was
was left unfinished
and let go—

left to float away,
to wither,
to die.

Instead,
the sea of sorrow
nourished my longing.

What was wrong with me?

Brought to my knees
by a weakness
that somehow felt so right.

My heart could neither beat
nor breathe.

And for once,
it was happy.

For it was still...

and alive.

Captivated.
Powerless.

And longing.